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Thursday, December 18, 2014

David Fewster ------ new poem for new year

12 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

1) Accept the fact the possibility of love
    no longer exists.
    You’re a monster.

2) Try not to laugh at folks who
    attempt to quit smoking the first
     half of the month.

3) If you’re feeling sad, remember
    the cable bill is paid thru January.

4) Savor every moment.
    The next one is going to be even worse.

5) Only talk to people
    you’ve known at least 20 years.
    When in doubt, remember
    They don’t understand you, either.

6) Tip even unattractive bartenders.
    This may turn out to be the
    Hidden Key to Heaven.

7) Don’t laugh when your friends who resolved
    to stop smoking
    Light up in front of you.
    Their shame is already great.

8) Don’t suddenly decide to
    Burn all your old papers in an effort
    To cleanse the past.
    Your friends and family will appreciate
    The chuckle when they’re sorting your shit
    After you’re dead.

9) Old court documents, however, can be thrown away
    With impunity.

10) Don’t take an exotic trip
      in an effort to reach satori,
      or move to some new city
      to try to “start afresh”
      Travel is for the young.
      Stay where the fuck you are.
      Remember how happy Dorothy was
      To get back to Kansas
      Where she died at the age of 16
      When a silo fell on her head.

11) Cry during all the commercials,
      even the ones for Depends Adult Undergarments.
      You’ve got to let it out somehow.

12) Stop all that goddamn whining.
      And start smoking.



--David Fewster

1 comment:

  1. Most inspiring, thanks for posting! And, I cannot tell a lie: I pushed that silo over onto Dorothy. Couldn't any longer endure sharing the same planet with such a
    wretched little twink. Optimism makes me puke.

    ReplyDelete