Wendy Beamish ------------- two poems

LOST

When I was young

And wild and joyful,

I met a mystic sage

She had a dark and golden heart

And promised me endless light

Being greedy and wanting

more happiness

I barely listened to her

song

And blithely followed her

As she spiraled down

To uplift you,

She told me,

I will take you

through the

Deepest darkness

Blackest blight

Searing sadness

And when you rise

you will break the

Surface

Like a swimmer

Bursting into the light

Following her down,

I became lost

in infinite night

in piercing pain

in tireless tragedy

Without the sage,

Doubt and Panic

overtook me

knowing I would

never be the same

But I fought,

lost

Going up

Going down

And up and down

Again and again

And years passed

this way

As I fought to break

the surface

And sometimes I thought

I saw the light

Other times

I was soaked in darkness

And each time

I was near

The light

I healed a little

And then I

realized

The light was not

Joy

But

Wisdom

Inspiration Lost

Perfectionism is

spotless white gloves,

freshly fallen snow,

unblemished porcelain skin.

But perfectionism

is parallelizing

when you're in

its grip

And inspiration

becomes mere

Respiration

Perfectionism is

the hammer that comes down

on the nail,

the noose that hangs,

the seal on the coffin,

Perfectionism is

drowning in your

own idealism

Unable to

reach my ideals

Inspiration

becomes mere

Respiration

Perfectionism

has stopped me,

death by asphyxiation 

by a Tyrant

of my own making

And when can I breathe

just a ... little

I wonder

Who decides what perfect is?

For if beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

perfect can take on many forms,

leaving it amorphous

The answer cannot

be

stopping

or

Holding tight to harrowing idealism

but

finding away

to

Exist between the lines

To allow mere respiration

To become inspiration